Learned yesterday that my grandmother was in the hospital over the weekend. She's fine now, but gave my mother quite a scare.... 93 years old and still has her wits about her, I am amazed at her dogged determination to retain her independence. She lives in an assisted living facility, but believe me when I say she tries her hardest to not need any assistance. I admire her tenacity, but she is also her own worst enemy when it comes to her medical history. One of the most important things she needs to do is as simple as eating on a regular basis, however, this is a woman who for the last ten years eats like a bird even on the best of days.
My memories of her are so different than who she is now. Both she and my grandfather were gentle forces in our lives - the glue of our family, the rocks upon which we stood in times of trouble. For my brother and I, they were symbols of permanancy.... our mother had been through three divorces, and our grandparents were married until my grandfather passed away more than 12 years ago. We all literally believed my grandmother would not be able to live without him - they never fought, were never apart, and relied on each other for strength and faith. But, she's tougher than we gave her credit for, and she lived on for her family. It's interesting the roles grandmothers play in our lives - as a grandchild you have such a different relationship with this person then their own children do, and you don't often think of them as mothers until you get older and see them actually mother your own mother or father. My grandmother was a sweet, gentle, and giving woman in my life - almost an untouchable angel that gave my grandfather his strength and stability. As I got older though, I discovered the steely side to her.... she is tough and doesn't take crap from anyone who seeks injustice or attempts to harm her family. She loves beer, and is a huge fan of her local baseball team. She is not sentimental with material things, but loves her collection of photos showing her family. She has the patience of a saint, but doesn't let her children take advantage of it.... they know where the line is in the sand, and never cross it. It would have been wonderful to be a fly on the wall of my mother's childhood. Seeing my grandparents as parents would be a lesson for all of us who fumble around in life wondering what our purpose is. My grandparents seemed to know their purpose and pursued it with no doubt and never looked back in regret.
Today, my grandmother is a beacon of light for my mom and her brothers.... and to lose her will devastate them all. She is a symbol of something better in their lives - a time when they quite literally lived the life of Leave it To Beaver. The challenges they've all faced and overcome were not the same as what my grandparents lived through, and it is this difference that defines the times we live in. Gone are the days of innocence and wonder.... the days my grandparents raised five children in. They were days when it was still possible to dream of far away places and imagine what they were like, whereas today all you have to do is get on the computer and look them up. They were also days of opportunities and faith in God and our government. The media had not yet become the ratings monster it is now.... the shock value not as important as the story and facts. The troubles of my grandparents' time as parents were wholly different than troubles of today - the country was in a period of change, and to everyone it was a time of discovery - good and bad. This period of development was hope and inspiration for many, and in this environment, my grandparents raised five kids to believe in other people and not be afraid of challenges in life.
My grandmother is 93 years old.... what a life she has lived: born right as World War I ended and living through six more, she saw the US become a developed country. She saw the beginning of the space program and watched us walk on the moon, she saw JFK become president against all odds and then shot down before his first term was up, she saw, but didn't really care for, the evolution of music with Elvis, Jimmy Hendrix, The Who, The Beatles, and many others who paved the way for today's musicians, she saw women's rights become a major social issue - saw women fight and die for our right to vote and have a voice in the way our country is run, she lived through advances in technology - going from days of radio to days of tv to days of computers to days of 3D and HD..... the century my grandmother bore witness to was one of change, turmoil, and opportunites - all working together to give us what we have today, and what I believe we take advantage of too often. We have lost our innocence, but she still holds on to it....
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